Gone
by Draco lover 91
Summary: She had been trapped in the BAU for two weeks already. With everyone just getting back from a case they had all rushed home. She remembered a time when they would all rush out for drinks but now everyone had a family to get to.
1. Chapter 1

She kept staring at the pictures on her desk. It will be over soon she kept repeating in her head. This is what you get when you turn your back on the life you once had. You make a change for you and all those who knew you now want you dead it's no different than leaving the underground. With that she sighed out loud "except its more lonely." She had been trapped in the BAU for two weeks already. With everyone just getting back from a case they had all rushed home. She remembered a time when they would all rush out for drinks but now everyone had a family to get to. Bossman had always had Jack so that wasn't much of a change. JJ still went out even when she had henry. Tonight she was home with him and Will. Rossi had a new daughter to spend his time with which left very little time left for his favorite kitten. Reid was going to some new sci-fi movie which he usually would have invited her to except she is on BAU lockdown. Even Derek was too busy to spend time with her. She couldn't blame him who would want to hang out at work when he had a hot girlfriend at home.

She decided she couldn't stay sitting anymore her computers were busy running their searches but she needed to move. She decided to look around the BAU. First on her stop was JJ's desk. Sitting proudly front and center was a picture of her boys. Next to it was a picture of JJ, Emily and her taken while at the wedding. JJ was always nice and tidy so nothing other than files was left on the desk. After straitening JJ's pictures she decided to move on.

Next on her stop was Reid's desk. She had to smile when she seen how messy he was. For a genius he really was sloppy. Case files were spread across the top. Random notes stuck on post its covering one side. The only picture that was on his desk was a single shot of his mother. She stopped to stare at that for a minute. Reid had been acting really weird lately talking about doctors and genes. She was wondering if he was starting to worry about his following his mother's more the closer he gets to the age it kicked in. She decided to leave a little note for him to find. Picking up the brightest sticky note he had she wrote "Life without fear is a life not lived." She stuck this the inside of his laptop on his desk.

She made her way to Dereks office. Flicking on the light she swallowed a flash of pain. They had been drifting apart lately and she wasn't entirely sure why. Stepping around his desk her hurt just grew where there used to be pictures of her and him as well as pictures of him and savanna now just stood pictures of him and savanna and ones just of savanna. Opening his draw expecting to find her little fun draw she cried when she found a draw full of files. Deciding she couldn't take any more of his office she left with a new purpose in her stride.

Making her way to Rossi's she thought about how much the team had changed over the past few months. Have they really changed that much? Sadly the changed she most noticed looking back was a change in her part of the team. They still talked and laughed like the team she knew but for some reason she was becoming less and less a part of it all. Opening Rossi's office door she went straight for his top cabinet. She wasn't much for scotch but what do you do when you realize how alone you really are. Sitting down in his chair she started to make a plan. After drinking two glasses she got up and headed out of the office.

She stood in front of his door debating her next move she normally wouldn't go into his office unless called to it. Throwing back another drink of scotch she opened the door and marched to his desk. Sitting at his desk made her smile for as much as Hotch was a strict nonemotion leader he was a loving dad. All around his desk were pictures of Jack and drawings he did. Looking at the clock she realized how much time had gone by hotch would be in in about an hour and she had a lot of work to do. She pulled a piece of paper from his letter box and began to writing. She expected a few tears to fall as she was writing but shocking even herself all she felt was relief. Tucking the letter into his top draw she got up and left the office.

Walking back to her office she was remembering all the good times and the bad shared in these walls. Thinking about all the people who had come and gone and all those who remained. She was thinking about all the friends and family she had found here. Turning to look out over the BAU she knew she was making the right choice. After all there comes a time and a season for everything.


	2. Chapter 2

Hotch was as usual the first one to work. However today something felt off. He wanted to go say good morning to Garcia but knew it was too early and that she probably wouldn't be awake for at least a half hour. Going through the BAU he got caught up thinking about just how still it seemed at this hour almost peaceful. Looking at it know you could almost forget the horrors it would hold in the next few hours. As he was headed to his office he saw Dave walking in the doors. He was always the second one into the office without fail. Nodding toward him he saw Dave make a beeline toward his office. It would be at least another half hour before anyone else began showing up. Garcia was usually in right after he and Dave but with her under protection he doubted he would see her until a case came in. Until one did come in he decided to focus on the case file he had yet to finish.

Looking up about forty-five minutes later he seen the rest of his team arriving. Reid looked like he had had a long night. JJ looked happy like she had spent a good deal of time with henry. He taught back to last night when he was supposed to have had Jack but his aunt had made plans weeks ago for a museum lock in so he was on his own. Morgan looked as though he spent a long night in all smug and strut. Each one seemed to be in their own little world. all of them heading straight for their desks with no idea about what was to come.

Two hours into the day everyone was working hard. Reid had finally decided to look up from his files. Opening his laptop he found the little sticky note reading it he made a mental note to thank Garcia later she was always doing little things to show she cared. JJ was sorting through electronic requests for the BAU's help. Morgan was filing out case files on the system he needed done by that day. Rossi and Hotch were both filling out paper work on their computers when an alert showed up.

Everyone looked up at their screens as everything else froze. On their screen sat a video of a halfheartedly smiling Penelope.

"Hi my fine furry friends, it is now about 9:30 and I am guessing you are wondering why I am on your screens and haven't greeted you yet this morning. That has an easy answer which isn't so easy to explain. So the answer as to why I haven't greeted my favorite super heroes is because I am not there to greet you. Now before you go thinking of course you not here you're in your office on lockdown I will just say no I'm not." With that five chairs were all pushed back and five set of feet were rushing to find an empty lab. When they all got there they were shocked to find a video screen up there as well. " This is the not so easy to explain part. I have left each one of you a video ready to start at the time of my choosing. Now before you all start yelling and calling out the search party I ask you to wait and watch the video I have left you. It will come through today and it will be shortly but I wanted them seen by each one at different times. You can share or not but it is for you. After the video plays it will self-delete. I won't say the times they are scheduled but you won't miss them. One way or another they will find you. Well that's it for now my fine furry friends."


	3. Chapter 3

As they made their way back out to the bullpen they were discussing the video. "It didn't look forced." Reid said "No, It was filmed in her office." Rossi said "Why would she willing leave?" JJ asked Hotch cut them all off "We just have to wait and trust Garcia has a reason." Morgan yelled at that "Since when are you the one not to be cautious with something like this? Garcia is gone!" Hotch answered "I trust Garcia and if you did to you would trust that she did leave videos and that they will explain."

Sitting in his office Hotch kept looking at the clock why didn't he go with his gut this morning when something felt off. Why didn't he know she wasn't there. What could have made her leave. While he was in the middle of those thoughts his computer popped up.

"Hi bossman,

I bet you are wondering why I left or better yet why I didn't come to you. The truth is I just decided to leave last night. If you open your top draw you will find a letter. There is one for you in there that I want you to hold on to don't open it yet. You will know when the time comes to open it. I also left a letter for jack. You don't have to give it to him but I believe you will. I didn't want to leave him thinking his aunt P forgot about him or didn't care. There are so many reasons I decided I needed to leave and so many for why I almost stayed. You need to know you were both a reason I needed to leave and one of the biggest reasons I wanted to stay. In saying that you are a reason I needed to leave the way I did in that I couldn't stand to see the disappointment in your eyes if I told you. You are one of the only people who has ever taken a chance on me. You a not only a great leader and boss but you are a great man. I wanted to stay because I have seen what you went through and yet you became stronger through it. At the same time seeing that I knew I could never do that I was breaking. I needed to leave so I could be the type of person you once told me I was. I did a thing and I know you aren't going to be happy but all files of me are gone. Pictures, FBI files, all evidence I was ever there is gone. I let you keep the pictures jack has of me at home but the others will not be the same when they all go home all aspects of me from their lives will be gone. I hope you know no matter what happens jack and you will always be my family. I will always be looking out for you."

With that the screen went black. Hotch just sat there staring at the screen wondering if he was ever going to see that face again and what was going to happen to his team if not. He turned the computer back on hoping she really didn't change it all but the more he looked the more he seen all she did to disapper. Opening his draw he stared at the letters laying on top. Grabbing the one with Jacks name on it he left his office. "Take the rest of the day. I will see you all Monday." He called out as he was walking towards the doors.


	4. Chapter 4

Rossi watched Hotch leave. He sat is his office he knew hotch would be the first to get his video it was right in that he was the boss. Just like he figured Reid would be receiving his next. Morgan probably thought he would get the first video but looking at how thing have been the last few months he would probably be next to last right before him. He knew something was up when he came in to find an empty 200 year old scotch bottle with an IOU attached. He didn't think it meant His kitten had left but then again he hadn't been all that observant with her lately either. After watching Hotch leave and thinking about what she said about the video finding them he decided it would be a great time to head out to his cabin for the weekend. Walking out he went straight to Reid's desk. Stopping he said "Kid if you want a getaway I will be up at the cabin feel free to drop in." After waiting a minute for him to respond he walked away.

Reid sat at his desk playing with the sticky note he found that morning. He knew Hotch had probably gotten his video now Rossi too. It made sense for them to know first as they were the main heads of the unit He was running thoughts through his mind. Thoughts like why did she leave, was there something I could have done, how did I not notice her pulling away. In the back of his mind he heard what Rossi had said to him. That just brought new thoughts to his mind why is he so calm, did he know she was leaving, why did Hotch gives us the day, are we not going to try to find her? The last one he shook off knowing if she left on her own accord they wouldn't find her. She would make herself disapper. With that thought he quickly went through every photo he had on his laptop. Just as he knew they would be every photo that had her in it was gone. All emails back and forth had disappeared it was as if she had truly never been there. He decided he needed to walk to do something so shutting down his computer he grabbed his files and laptop and stuffed them in his bag. Walking out of the doors he noticed it was just Derek and JJ left in the office. He wondered which one of them would be getting their video first. Walking out of the FBI building he decided he was going to go to the coffee shop he and Garcia frequented after a sci-fi fest. Walking around he started thinking about all the memories they shared. How she was the only one who had known the whole truth to his background before it all came out. How she encouraged him to approach JJ and how she enjoyed sharing the responsibility of being henry's godparent with him. After ordering her favorite drink in honor of her leaving he went to their usual table in the back. Just as he was sitting down his phone started to ring. Looking at the screen he knew exactly what it was. Flashing on his screen was the alert for a video message.


	5. Chapter 5

Meanwhile sitting across town at the airport a redhead was playing on her laptop or so it seemed. She jumped when a voice spoke up behind her. "You weren't that hard to profile." Turning around she was shocked to see the face of her boss. "I didn't think you would have time to do any profiling Sir." She answered. "I figured that out based on the time you set the video to play verse the time the flight was supposed to leave. And it's Aaron. This isn't the office and I am not your boss anymore." He sighed out in answered. "Why did you come Bosman?" she asked truly not knowing "You really want to leave and I am not going to stop you. I do however want to know why you felt you couldn't come to me?" he asked "I can't answer that Aaron." She sighed "But I will tell you I meant what I said no matter what you and Jack are family. I love you guys I will always be watching out for you" In the background they were calling last call for her flight.

As she began to walk away He called out "Say hi to her for us." As she completely disappeared he pulled out his phone. "Aaron, did you catch another case?" Jessica asked "No, no case but can we reschedule your weekend with jack? I really need to see him." He said "Aaron are you sure nothing's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong. Can you just have him packed?" "He will be packed and ready in an hour." She answered "Thanks Jess." He sighed after hanging up with Jessica.

He immediately started dialing Dave. Before he could even say hi he was greeted with "The cabin is already ready just come on up." He asked "Did you get your video?" "Not yet, but I am preparing for seven or eight here." He replied "Thanks Dave. I don't think anyone is going to want to be alone this weekend." "Did she make it out ok?" Dave asked "What do you mean?" "You aren't the only profiler Aaron and definitely not the only one who can get information." Dave answered like it was the dumbest question in the world. "Yeah she made it out ok." "Well go get jack and come on out I am ready and waiting." "Thanks Dave."


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey Boy wonder,

I know by now you are probably really down. I am so sorry I have left like so many others. I just couldn't do it anymore. I know you have probably figured out that there is no trace of me left. I just need you to know I want it like that. I want you to start fresh to be happy and move on. I need you to continue to be an awesome godfather to henry since I am leaving him fairy godmother less. Know that my leaving doesn't mean you did anything wrong or that I don't care. Just know it was something I had to do for me. I am not fully walking away from you. You are my family. I will always keep up with how you are and be watching out for you. I just can't keep doing it from there. We can still have our sci-fi fests just a little different now. Know that when you are watching I am watching with you. I don't think I will ever be able to do another sci-fi convention the same again. You may be a little afraid of what will happen now. With the team with life and that's okay because I am too. Just know like I said in my note a life without fear is a life not lived. We both need to live, we need to face our fears, and learn to trust it will all work out. Even with all the bad in the world it will all work out. About facing our fears I am facing one by leaving now you need to face you're about your genes. I know I am being pushy but this is the last time I can be. GO GET TESTED you are not your mom and you won't know until you do. Love you Little Brother"

When the finished playing his screen when dark. Spencer just sat there with tears in his eyes staring at the screen. She had profiled him and he should find it funny but all he could think about was the fact that she had left. Even in leaving she was showing she cared. As he was thinking his phone screen lit up again this time it showed a message with an appointment time and date. With that he did let out a chuckle. Even from wherever she was she was bossing him around. He even knew that if he didn't go he would just keep getting new appointment.


	7. Chapter 7

Back at the BAU JJ sat in her office with tears running down her face. How had she not seen how desperate Penelope was getting, how had she not seen how far they had drifted apart? Sitting at her desk she looked around and noticed the small changes. The pictures that used to hold all of the girls were changed to ones of henry or Will. The little knickknacks she had given her were gone. She was really gone and she was trying to make it like she never existed. How was she going to do this? How was she going to tell Will and Henry? They both loved her to death. How could she just leave them and Henry without a thought? She was Henry's godmother. She decided she needed to get out of the office. Walking away from her desk she noticed just how quite it was all the office lights were off except Morgan's and Reid wasn't at his desk. Gathering her stuff she looked around one last time and thought about the things that were about to change.

When she got home she was shocked to find that the pictures she had around her house were all changed. The gifts from Penelope were all gone. She walked to the bathroom to find all of the oils and soaps she had received over the years were gone so were Wills tacky ties. Going up to Henry's room she was shocked to see that the only stuffed animal left that she had bought him still there was the dog he slept with every night. Seeing all the stuff gone she slid down the wall and cried. Had she been that bad of a friend that she didn't see it. Was Penelope that good at hiding what she was doing.

An hour later that's where Will found her. Against the wall with her head on henry's bed holding his stuffed dog. "What's wrong Cher?" he asked "She's gone. She left. She's gone" she just kept repeating. Will picked her up and took her to their bed "Who's gone Cher? Who?" "Penelope" she answered with a cry.

A few minutes later their smart tv came to life. Making Will jump and JJ cry out.


	8. Chapter 8

On a plane over the middle of the Pacific Ocean a red head was sat in the window seat of a 747 with her head resting against the glass. She had just ensured one of her videos found its way to its recipient. It was one of the hardest video's she had to make. Looking down she squeezed her hands around a miniature version of Henrys stuffed puppy. In her mind she kept replaying "I need this. A fresh start is a good thing." Even running those thoughts through her mind wasn't helping much right now she had just said goodbye to her family and was on her way to do the same with the last of it.

Sitting on their bed Will and JJ stared at their TV screen.

"Hello my Blond Beauty and I am hoping Will as well,

You may not believe it but this is one of the hardest parts about my leaving. I didn't want to have to say goodbye knowing how hurt and angry you must be. I know I am not being the best Fairy Godmother by leaving but I can't do it anymore. I can't sit and be the odd one out, the person only looked at when needed anymore. It wasn't always like that and it isn't only your fault. Right now I need a fresh start. I know that I have made it hard for you to explain to Henry. I have left him a letter in our special book. I don't ever want him to think that I don't love him or won't miss him. He is and always will be my special little man. I am not sorry to have left but I am sorry for the pain I may cause you by doing so. I love you and Will and will always do so but right now it's time for me to get back to standing on my own two feet. I love you all and will always keep a close watch out for my family."

As the screen went blank JJ leaned into Will and buried her head on his shoulder. Both of them just sat staring not believing the goodbye they had just received. Will looked down and asked "Did you see what she had in her hands?" JJ looked up at him with a questioning look. He answered "She had a something in her hands she was playing with as well as tissues." JJ said "If she is so sad about leaving why did go?" she asked it in such a heartbroken voice that Will just pulled her closer. He answered "She needed a fresh start. She sounded broken Cher. I don't think I have ever seen or heard her that broken." That made JJ feel even worse. How could she not have noticed her friend no her family becoming that way. Thinking back she realized just how long it had been since she had actually looked.


	9. Chapter 9

Rossi was sitting at his kitchen counter when his doorbell rang. When he opened the door he was surprised to see Reid standing there instead of Aaron. Catching his surprised look Reid quickly started making excuses "I should have called but you invited me up here and I didn't think. I should probably go…" he said as he started to walk away. Rossi quickly moved to stop him. "I did invite you here so there was no need to call. I was just expecting Hotch and Jack since he called not that long ago on his way." Reid looked at Rossi for a minute before saying "I don't want to intrude. If you are expecting Hotch I can just go." Once again Rossi made a quick move to stop him. "I am expecting everyone at some point today." That made Reid even more curious about whether or not Rossi had known in advanced. He Decided he was going to ask about that. Stepping into the cabin he turned and asked "Did you know she was going to leave? Did she tell you before? Do you know where she went? Did she say in her video to you?" he asked back to back. Rossi looked at him for a minute before answering. "No, I didn't know. She didn't talk to me or anyone before as far as I know. And I haven't gotten a video yet." He answered hoping Reid didn't catch on to the fact that he didn't answer about knowing where she was

. He was getting ready to ask Reid about his video when the doorbell rang again. Opening the door again he smiled as Jack rushed past him into the cabin. Looking back on the porch he frowned when he noticed the frown on Aarons face. He gestured for him to come on in as it had started to rain. Hotch stepped in and immediately noticed a defeated looking Reid. Putting his and jacks stuff down he went over to where Reid was standing and did something that shocked both himself and Reid. He wrapped an arm around Reids shoulders and gave him a firm one armed hug. Reid jumped not used to the touch from Hotch. He quickly looked at him with a half amazed half worried look. Hotch never willing showed any emotion. For him to be showing it now meant that this was just as much of a surprise and unhappy shock to him as it was to Reid.


	10. Chapter 10

In four different places four different people were thinking about the promises they had broken. JJ was thinking about her broken promise of always being there for Penelope. She was sitting in Henrys room holding a letter in her hand with his name on it. She found it right where it was said to be tucked neatly into his copy of _Dream Big Little Bear_. She was waiting on Will to bring Henry back from school. She was trying to figure out how she was going to tell her little man that his Fairy Godmother wasn't going to be around anymore.

Sitting in Dave's kitchen, Aaron was trying to figure out how he was going to tell his son that he had broken his promise about never letting his family go. He kept remembering when his son had asked him "Is all our family going to go away?" it was right after Penelope had been shot. His son had started calling her aunt P and he was scared he was going to lose her to. He had answered "No, we are not going to lose any more of our family anytime soon." He knew it was a promise he risked breaking every case but he couldn't bring himself not to make it anyway.

Watching Aaron look at the envelope, which hand her hand writing on it, so intensely Dave wondered how he had broken his promise so easily. He thought back to 8 months ago when Penelope had been so defeated. She had wanted to do something which Morgan didn't agree with so Morgan was being his typical dumb self-centered self. He was ignoring her. He remembered taking her a cup of her favorite tea into her office and closing the door. When she looked up he remembered telling her "I am here to listen when you need it kitten. There is never anything to small or stupid for you to need me for." When he had finished talking she had jumped out of her chair and gave him a big hug crying. "I don't know what I keep doing wrong" He rubbed her back saying" You haven't done anything wrong Kitten he is just being dumb. Give him some time and he will come around. You have all of us Penelope. I will always be here when you need me." You promise?" she asked with tears in her eyes. "I do."

Sitting on the plane she looked up at the screen showing the progress of the trip. She was almost halfway to her next stop. Sitting in her seat she couldn't help but think of all the promises she was breaking on her way to a fresh start. There were three main promises that popped into her head. The first was her promise to Hailey. She knew she would be kind of keeping this one but it wasn't the same way in which she made the promise. She remembered sitting out at the gravesite talking to a woman she barely knew but knew was loved. "I promise you I won't let that man or little boy ever not know love. They will never forget you and the love that you shared. I will watch out for them for you. You will never have to fear being forgotten." The second promise she knew she was breaking was the promise she made when she accepted being Henrys Godmother. She promised to love him watch out for him, and to spoil him rotten. She knew that she would still be watching out for him but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to show him her love or spoil him like she used to. The third promise that was rattling around in her head was the promise she had made to herself. She had promised herself she would never run away again. She promised that she would stay and fight for herself but here she was running away yet again.


	11. Chapter 11

He had gone back into his office and sat for about two hours waiting on her video to come through. The longer he waited with no video the more aggravated he became. He sat behind his desk looking at his office. He was trying to figure out when things had changed so much between them. Looking at his desk he noticed his drawer was open. He was trying to remember going through it this morning but the last time had had been in that drawer was before they had left on the last case. Looking around he noticed other differences as well. His pictures had been moved, his laptop out of position. He knew then that she had been in his office sometime during the night. He sat there looking for any other items out of place or any changes she might have made. Looking around he couldn't see any changes she had made. Opening the drawer up fully he found the only other thing that seemed to be out of place was the little black box he had sitting inside. Seeing it sit on top of his files in that drawer made him realize why there were no changes to be seen. He slammed the drawer shut when the thought settled in his mind. There were no changes because he had already taken everything of her out of his office. Sinking back into his chair he thought about how much they used to talk and do together then he thought about the last time they had actually done anything at all. With a sad realization he found that the last nonworking conversation they had had was over three months ago.

Finally after about four hours the video finally came through.

"Hey Derek,

I guess by now you are extremely mad. I bet you have also figured out you aren't the first to receive your video. I know you probably think you should have been first but I just couldn't do it. The way things have been the past few months I figured the other needed more explanation. I am more worried about the others then I am about you. I guess that's the one good thing to come out of the last few months. I no longer need to be your sunshine to keep you out of the dark. You have a brighter sun in your life these days. I am so happy for you Derek. But being happy for someone and being happy isn't the same thing. I looked around and was so happy for everyone else with their families and in your case so to be family. I just couldn't keep looking at it and not be happy myself. With all the changes with our team recently I just needed a change. I realized that you all have real families and that I was just trying to create one. I hope you have your happy ending Derek because you truly deserve it." In the background Derek could hear her cell ringing. "I hope that once you get over the anger you can see that I was just doing what was best for me. You guys will always be my family and a part of my heart but right now I just need to move forward alone. Stays safe at work don't lose your cool. You have a future fiancée counting on you to make it home. Don't let my leaving let you lose faith in our team. You guys are going to need each other."

After watching her video Morgan had decided he needed a release. He was glad he had brought his bike to work this morning as one of the best releases was speed. He drove for an hour straight not thinking about where he was going just driving when he looked up he was shocked to find himself at the house he had bought several years ago. He and Penelope had been on their way back from a game he had talked her into going to and had found this little clown house at the time. He thought the house looked insane and unfixable. Penelope on the other hand fell in love at first sight. She was in love with the small colorful house. She made the comment that she one day wanted a house like this. He teasingly told her it was a good house a colorful clown house for the colorful goof. He had completely forgot about buying the house until he seen it again. He had bought the house three days after she had seen it. He figured if anyone deserved their dream house it was her after everything she had been through and after all she did for everyone else he wanted to help her achieve at least one dream.


	12. Chapter 12

Finally, she thought, I am so glad to be off the plane. Looking down at her phone she realized she was later then she was supposed to be. Unlocking her phone she started to reach out to the last person on her list.

"Prentiss."

"Hey Emily, I just got in."

"Penelope! I am so glad you made it ok. I am near the baggage claims."

"Thanks. I will see you in a few minutes then."

As she hung up she slowly started making her way toward the baggage claim. She had so many thoughts running through her head. _What is she going to say? I probably should have warned her a little better about my reasons. No, she would have told the others. I wonder if anyone has contacted her about me. I doubt it the only one who figured it out so far has been Hotch._ With all the thoughts running through her head she almost walked right past Emily.

"Penelope! I am so happy to see you it has been too long. How was your flight? How is the team? You didn't say how long you are going to be here. I didn't know you were off BAU lockdown. Wait this is part of the BAU lockdown is it they didn't decide to hide you here?"

"Emily slow down I can't answer all of those at once." She answered laughing "I have missed you too. It was long but worth it. I figured maybe a week at most as for the rest can we talk about that when we get back to your place?" she asked.

The last question had Emily shooting a worried look at her.

"I swear I am ok. I just want to get to wear I can sit ad rest and then we will talk."

Still looking at her weird Emily shook her head yes and motioned for Penelope to walk with her. The car ride to Emily's flat was quite with Penelope resting in the passenger seat. The only comments made were about how weird the driving was there and how it took Emily a long time to get used to it.

The next morning Emily woke Penelope up with a hot coffee and a we need to talk look. Recognizing the look as her no business look Penelope just took the coffee and sighed.

"Ok Penelope, I gave you last night but now it's time to talk so talk." Emily said while giving her best interrogation glare.

Penelope looked down at her hands trying to decide where to start. Seeing that she was struggling with what to say Emily said "What happened with you being on BAU lockdown?"

Penelope looked up she remembered her asking that last night but wasn't sure how she knew because she hadn't told her. Raising her eyebrow she asked "Who told you about that?"

"I do still talk to the team you know. Not much but I do." Penelope was staring her down for the lack of an answer.

"Fine" Emily answered "Reid told me. So tell me about it"

"I am not technically still on it but I wasn't technically released either." She answered

"What exactly does that mean Penelope?"

Without answering Penelope jumped into a question of her own "do you regret not telling us you were leaving?" That really got Emily's attention.

"I do. I rationalized that I did in my own way but I could have tried harder." She looked at her with a look that showed dawning realization. "Penelope did you leave the BAU?"

Penelope's eyes snapped to Emily's "Kind of." She answered

"Again what exactly does that mean." She asked

"I may have done some things to get out."

Emily stared at her with a look of shock. "Oh Penelope please please please tell me you said goodbye. Please tell me goodbye isn't why you came here. Tell me you just didn't do anything your way."

"I can't." she answered once again looking down. "Emily I couldn't stay just like I can't stay here long. Aaron already knows where I am but I don't want to be found. I left the others videos but I knew I had to see you one last time before I left."

"One last time? You are sounding like you are never going to see us again. Tell me you plan on keeping in touch tell me you aren't just disappearing?"

"I already have disappeared from over there. This is my last stop before I disappear altogether."

"Why? Why do you have to disappear at all?"

"I just do Emily. I need time to find me again. I need to find my happiness and my own life. Everything has changed and it's a good change it really is everyone is happy."

"Everyone but you?" Emily watched her face change as she said it and realized it was true "I doubt anyone is happy with you being gone. I am going to let them know you are at least ok." She said as she made her way toward the phone. As she was doing that Penelope grabbed her bag and started toward the door.

"I only came here to tell you goodbye and thanks for always being my friend and sister. Just like I told everyone else I won't ever forget that."

When Emily turned back around she realized Penelope was already gone.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hello my lovely readers sorry for the long wait I have been staying at the hospital with my grandmother who is in really bad shape. I have been writing as I can will be uploading two new chapters tonight. Thanks for sticking with me. Updates may be few for the next few weeks but i am still writing.

Hotch looked down at his phone as it started to ring. Seeing the name flashing he was quick to answer.

"Did she make it there ok?" he asked before she even said hello

"She did but I really messed up hotch."

Sighing he rubbed his eyes "What happened?"

"I started to call you guys and she freaked and ran now I don't know where she is?"

"She was coming to you to get away from us why would you do that Emily?"

"I thought you guys needed to know she was ok."

"She probably thought, rightfully so, that if a few of us were to know where she was we would come stop her."

"Why didn't you stop her Aaron?"

Sighing he sank down onto the bed he was using "The same reason I didn't stop you. It was what you and she wanted and more than that it was what you both needed. Who I am to force her to stay?"

Emily was silent for a few minutes. "Do you think she will be ok? Do you really think we will never see her again?"

"I think she will be okay. She is sad and lonely right now and needs time to herself. DO I think it will be forever, I hope not but I honestly don't know. She is broken Emily and none of us seen it until it was to late."

Emily sat down hard on her couch. "How is everyone?"

"Reid, Rossi and I are out at his cabin. Haven't heard from JJ or Morgan yet but I think Dave is going to call them over here soon. I think everyone is beating themselves up for not noticing and being mad she didn't confide in us."

"Will you keep me updated please?"

"Sure. Why aren't you at work right now?"

"I have a couple of weeks off. I thought I was going to be spending some of it with Penelope but I made her rush off. Now I don't know what to do."

"Well there is always a team here ready for visits." He suggested

"I may end up doing that. I think now is the perfect time to come home."

"Let me know if you decide to come in."


	14. Chapter 14

Sitting on a bench Penelope looked over at the Palace. She laughed remembering when she used her CIA access to get the number for the Prince. She figured it wouldn't work but to her shock it was in the system. She remembered how JJ had just laughed when her screen went blank before she could write it down. She was missing her team her family but missing them didn't mean she wasn't doing the right thing. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is sever the piece with the infliction that's what she was doing. Looking down at her phone she knew it was time to release the last video. After pressing send she released one last text message to a familiar number.

JJ woke up to an empty bed. The last thing she remembered was curling into Will and crying. Looking around at her Penelope free room she felt like crying again. She reached over to her bedside table and grabbed her phone. Looking down she pressed number three and waited.

"Hi JJ" answered Reid

"Hey" She answered sniffling "Do you want to come see us? I don't think you should be alone."

"I'm not." He answered quickly "I am out at Rossi's place. If you don't want to be alone however I am sure Rossi would welcome you out here." He said

Hearing Rossi assuring Reid in the background that they were more than welcome she reluctantly agreed.

"Have you heard from Morgan yet?" she asked

"Not yet." He answered with a sigh.

"I think I will stop by on my way there. Maybe drag him along."

In his den Dave just stared at his screen his video had just come through. He was shocked he had expected his video to be set in her office as well. To his surprise the video was taken outside in a park. She looked like had had been crying for a while. He watched her closely throughout the entire video she looked so worn down he couldn't figure out how he miss all of her pain. The depth of pain that was being shown in her voice and her actions made him feel extremely low. The level shown should have been easy to see and yet the top team of profilers missed it. That wasn't even the worst part. The worst part is they missed it in one of their own. the people they are supposed to know the best. The last thing she said in the video really struck home with that thought. "Don't let our family break completely."


	15. Chapter 15

Emily was in the middle of packing when her phone went off. She hurried up and grabbed it hoping it was Penelope. Answering it she was very disappointed. Her boss was calling wanting her to come back in the next day asking her to cancel her time off. Thinking about what had happened she lied to her boss for the first time telling her she was already in the states.

The living room of Rossi's cabin was filled with the team and their kids. The boys had yet to be told that their favorite aunt and godmother was gone. The adults were all sitting around the fireplace with plates laying untouched in their laps while the boys were watching a movie eating. They had been sitting there for the better part of an hour not talking just staring into the fireplace.

JJ and Morgan had showed up two hours after talking to Reid no one wanted to be alone to deal with the feelings. Especially the guilt. Nobody realized that it was over as Rossi didn't tell anyone about his video he just continued to play it over and over in his mind. After watching the video he sat in his den for a half hour thinking about just how broken his family was and just how much more this was going to break them. He knew he had to try not to let her down again so with that thought running through his mind he set off to take care of his family.

Getting ready to bored her plane Emily sat staring out at the many faces passing by at one point she swore she saw Penelope walking by but shrugged it off to wishful thinking. Penelope was probably long gone by now. She felt really bad. She had done the exact same thing only worse she didn't really say a goodbye to the team. At least not where they knew she was leaving. How could she have judged so quick when she knew the pain it caused leaving. She was thinking about whether or not the team would ever see Penelope again and whether or not should would ever be forgiven. The first part she was unsure of but wasn't ready for the answer. As for the second question she knew with the person Penelope was that she was forgiven.

Penelope rushed past the gate where she saw Emily sitting. She was shocked to see her at the airport headed to the states. She wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. Her whole family would be together. That thought made her chest really tight thinking about how she wasn't a part of it anymore. Maybe one day she would be strong enough to go back and see her family but until that day she had to keep pushing on. Looking down at her phone she resisted the urge to dial anyone. She wanted to talk to her babies but she knew that not only would she be waking them up she would have to talk to the adults that belong with them. Approaching her gate she realized she was finally doing exactly what she wanted to on her own terms. No underground, no FBI, no family just her own choices.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Sorry for the long wait thanks for hanging with me. It has been an extremely rough month. Grandmother is finally out of the hospital. Still staying with her 24/7 but should be able to get back to writing now.

It had been three days. And the feelings haven't seemed to change.

Sitting in Rossi's living room the team was looking around everyone afraid to say anything each one evaluating their part as well as the parts the other had played in making Penelope leave. They each were blaming themselves and each other. Emily having finally arrived found herself blaming herself for running off her friend when she wanted to spend time with her. She couldn't believe she let herself blame Penelope for doing the exact same thing she did. Her thoughts were on the fact that she reacted that way because she wasn't as needed to the team as Penelope had been.

Rossi was looking around at his Family. No matter what happened they were always family. He could tell Penelope was on the right track when she warned him not to let them break. He could see the effect that her leaving was having on them. He didn't know if they could survive their dark world now that their spot of sunshine had left.

In Italy, a newly found blond was making her way through the streets. She was seeing all the sights she had heard about and read about over the years. She had been so tempted to go see the extended Rossi family lands. She was afraid that he would find out. SHe had already seen all of her other sights she had wanted to she finally decided she was missing her family enough that maybe by just seeing a part of his history and life she would feel more connected again.

Dave was shocked to hear from his cousin that a friend of his had shown up to the family home in Italy. It took him several minutes to realize who they were talking about. He was told all about how a lovely woman had come around wanting to see the family land and wanting to learn as much as possible about the family history. His family was amazed by how much she had already knew about them. He was shocked that she had traveled there just to learn more about him. If she wanted to get away from them way would she take the time to go to a place so special to him. Thinking about it he got to thinking, maybe she wasn't as happy about leaving as she acted. Maybe there was more to her leaving then just her feeling alone and out of touch.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Thank you all for sticking with me and thank you for waiting patiently for this new update. Everything is finally calming down and I am back to writing I have two more chapters ready to post after this one. Let me know what you think

It had been almost a month since Rossi had received his call about Penelope. Everyone was started to get into a routine without her. No one liked it but they all were moving on the best they could. It was weird having Emily back but it helped a little bit. They had gone through 3 techs in as many weeks.

The team had been called to Dallas Texas to help find a killer who was leaving little girls scattered all throughout the city. They were called in because the only thing that kept tying the cases together was the fact that they were all little girls and the calling card left on their wrists. The killer had not stuck with one killing method, dumping place, age, or physical type. The only facts that the girls had in common had been that they were all from the Dallas area and none of them had been sexually assaulted.

 **First Day on the case**

Hotch called everyone to the round table "We have a new case. Round table now." He said in a demanding tone. The tension between the team since Garcia had left has been really rough. As everyone came into the room the new tech was scrambling to get everything pulled up right. It being her first day she had everything backwards she handed Reid the tablet and Morgan the paper file. Both looked at her like she had grown another head before switching the items. JJ was the first to ask "what do we have?" Hotch was quick to answer. The Dallas PD are calling us in because over the week they have had a body found every day." "so we are looking for a serial killer" Rossi said Hotch gave a grimace "yes but it is much worse" Emily was quick to jump in "Just how much worse can it get?" after she finished the question Tiffany the tech pulled the pictures up on the screen. "a lot worse" she said Morgan was the first to react tightening his hands into fists. "How old are these girls?" He asked through gritted teeth. "They are between the ages of five to eleven" Reid sad looking up from his file. Rossi who had been studying the file finally asked "What's the connection? From what I am reading there doesn't seem to be one. How is he choosing his victims?" Hotch was quick to answer "That's what we need to find out and we need to do it fast before there is another body."

 **Day five in the investigation**

Morgan was yelling into his phone "How did you get this damn job?! You haven't found us one damn shred of usable information! We have girls dying here and you're playing your stupid games. Find me something." Rossi who had been listening the whole time just gave him a glare. It wasn't the techs fault that she wasn't as good as Penelope. She was working her best with the information given. He knew everyone was having it rough on this case. It was always rough with children.

 **Day ten in the investigation**

The whole team was worn down and discouraged. They were all snapping at each other for the lack of progress on this case. Since they had been involved another ten girls were found. They had found out that the girls being found were missing from as far back as three months ago. Each new body found was tearing the team further and further down. Hotch had finally lost his temper with the tech. "It has been ten days. What have you been doing that you can't find a single Guy in this whole damn state. These girls are losing their lives and you are just sitting there doing nothing!" The tech started crying "I will get right back on it sir I will find you something."

 **Day thirteen**

He was sitting at the station with the team when they got the call that another body had been found. He knew this wasn't good as it meant he was speeding up his progress. Two bodies in one day was a very bad sign. Rossi looked at his phone just as it started to ring. He quickly answered it hoping it was good news. "I got something." He heard as soon as he said hello. "I can't believe I missed this. It was such a small thing I can't believe I overlooked it." Rossi getting frustrated with the rambling asked "Well What is it?" "There is a common person in each of the girls lives." "Well who is it?!" He demanded. "Each of the girls got their pictures taken by the same photographer for their schools. The marking on their wrists matches his old company name." He was really angry at this point he yelled "How the hell did you miss that? Even I Know one of the first steps is to search for an image match to the markings. You have cost girls lives." Crying the tech gave him the information as where to find him. However, in her upset state she forgot to give them the information that he was the owner of several guns and was always armed.

 **In California**

Sitting in a hotel bathtub a red head's phone started a blaring alarm. Recognizing that it could only mean one thing she jumped outta the tub to see which member of her family had been hurt. Looking down at her screen she cried out because in front of her wasn't just one name but two and both were marked as critical. Rushing around her room she began throwing all f her stuff into her bags. When she was done she checked all flights to her destination. Finding each flight booked she did the one thing she hadn't done in three weeks she hacked.

 **Five days after the case**

The team was sitting on the plane headed back to Quantico. They were discussing the latest tech and how she had almost gotten two of them killed.


	18. Chapter 18

Sitting on the plane she as digging into everything she could find about the teams so called tech. She was furious. Yes her team had been hurt on cases before when she was the tech but she had never not given them all the information she had found. How could she be so careless? How could the director? When she was done with her she was going to wish she never heard of the BAU. Trying to kill her Boy wonder and Boss man horrible woman. She couldn't wait to get back to Quantico. First stop the director's office, after that she was unsure where she would go.

Sitting on the plane the team kept looking back and forth between their two injured members. They couldn't believe what had happened.

 **Day thirteen of the case**

Rossi rushed into the station "We know who he is and I just got the address." Hotch yelled out to his team let's move. Rushing out to the vehicles they were quickly in route to catch the twisted unsub before he had a chance to kill yet another innocent girl.

Pulling up to the house they rushed from the SUV's. Morgan, Rossi, and Emily took the front while Reid, Hotch, and JJ went through the back. Quickly making their way through the first floor they all started to head upstairs. Unfortunately for the team they rushed their search and missed what they thought was a pantry door. Deciding to move onto the upper level they headed to the stairs. Reid and Hotch were holding back in the rear. They were headed for the stairs when Reid heard something fall in the kitchen. Before either man could move they were hit with shot after shot blasting into them. Hearing the shots the team was quick to rush to the stairs only to be stopped by the sight that greeted them. There laying on the floor near the kitchen door was both Reid and Hotch covered in blood. Before anyone could move their unsub tried to rush into the other room. Morgan being the first one to move jumped over the railing onto the unsub, making both of the hit the ground hard, while JJ rushed towards her team members. For once an unsub actually got the better of Morgan and had him pinned ready to shoot. Everything seemed to freeze in the house as a shot rang out.

A/N: I know I know a short chapter and a cliffy as well. I am so mean there will be another chapter up in two days.


	19. Chapter 19

"I need an ambulance at 1572 Maple Street. We have agents down I repeat agents down." Rossi yelled into his phone. Morgan was staring at the body laying right in front of him if Emily had been two seconds slower he would be dead. Emily was standing in the exact same position she was in still holding her gun. Two of her team was already injured due to this unsub she was damn sure not going to allow him to put a bullet in a third member. JJ was trying to stop the blood flow on both hotch and reid. "I need someones help over here!" she yelled Rossi was quick to run to her. He crouched down to have a look. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He quickly took over pressure on Hotch who was laying on his back barely breathing. He looked to have two major gunshot wounds one to his left shoulder and the other looked like it had ricocheted up under his vest into his stomach. Rossi kept talking to him as he held on he wasn't one to get overly emotional but even he knew this sight wasn't showing just how bad it was. JJ was sitting with Reid lying in her lap crying. "Come on Spence. Just hold on." She kept saying it over and over for Reid had taken a shot to the side of his head. She was unsure just how bad it was but knew any head wound was extremely dangerous.

 **Quantico**

Penelope stormed into the FBI building heading straight for the director's office. She didn't even stop at the check-in which had security chasing her. "I am sorry miss but you cant go in there." "Oh believe me I can and will. If you don't let me go I would watch out." Stan being a guard who had worked in the building for the last eight years told them to let her go. Looking to his men he said "I would warn the Director that he is about to have some company."

Storming into the office Penelope was greeted with the sight of the director standing in front of his desk. "What in God's earth is wrong with you?!" she yelled. "Now Ms. Garcia.." She quickly cut him off "Don't Ms. Garcia me. You promised me when I left that my team would be safe. That they would get the best techs you could find. How the heck does getting my team almost killed make her the best?" Staring at her the Director tried to find something to say. Even he knew the depth her temper and what she could do when mad. "You had better find a better tech that isn't going to hurt my family. I better not hear of her working with them ever again." She said in a threatening tone. As she walked out the door the director sank into his chair. He knew she meant it and knew if he didn't fix it he would be facing technical death.

Sitting in her car she wiped the tears off her face. How could the director have risked their lives giving the a subpar tech. She was trying to figure out if she wanted to do what she had been thinking about since finding out about the injuries. Making up her mind she started the car and pulled away.

 **In the hospital**

The team was all around the waiting room. Each one replaying what had happened in their head. Each one questioning what they could have done differently to change the outcome. In the middle of their thoughts a doctor came and said "Spencer Reid" Morgan jumped up "That's us" The doctor looked around at each one of their hopeful faces. "He is out of surgery we were able to repair the damage but he did require a blood transfusion. He is in ICU recovery. We will continue to monitor him over the next few days."

 **Quantico**

Sitting outside of the school she was staring at her phone. She had just gotten permission from Jessica to pick Jack up. To her complete shock Aaron had left her on Jack's pick up and emergency lists.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hospital**

The team were waiting on an update for their leader. It had been four hours since they had gotten an update about Reid and they still haven't heard anything about Hotch. JJ and Morgan had been going back and forth from Reid's room back to the waiting room. They were getting ready to head back to Reid when the doctor came in asking for those waiting on Hotchner. "He was extremely lucky that both bullets missed his heart. Before we could start the surgery we had to give him two bags of blood. Once we got in there we thought it would be fairly simple to fix the damage. However, we had some complications when we got in there we noticed that the bullet hit his liver tearing through the diaphragm on its way. We were able to repair the diaphragm but we did have to resect part of his liver due to the damage. The second bullet hit one of his ribs causing a bone splinter to hit his lung. We inserted a chest tube. When we inserted the chest tube he started crashing we were fortunately able to get him stable again but with the how low his blood pressure was and continues to be we will be watching him very closely for blood clots in the lungs and stability." Everyone sighed trying to wrap their minds around what they had just heard. They had almost lost two members of their team. This was the closest they had ever actually gotten to losing them. They had already lost one member maybe not through death but still lost to them they couldn't afford to lose anymore.

 **Quantico**

Waiting in the office for Jack she was extremely nervous. Would he be happy to see her? Would he be mad? Did she even have the right to be the one to tell him? She heard the door behind her open before she could even turn around she felt the force of a little body slamming into her. Looking down she seem him looking up at her half smiling half worried. "I thought you weren't gonna see me for a long time?" he asked in a rush. Brushing his hair out of his face she knew that Hotch had given him his letter. "I wasn't going to but I had a reason to come home quicker then I thought." She answered. He quickly asked "Are you staying now? Did you do everything you needed to do?" "I will be here for a few day but then I have to go back." She told him "But I miss you I want you to stay. Daddy misses you too. Everyone does."


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: I am so sorry it has been awhile it has been a rough 4 months. I was in Ohio as a caregiver for my grandma unfortunately after everything and all the improvements she passed away a few days before Christmas. I have 3 chapters this time but if there are mistakes please don't mind. Thanks for still reading Ashley

 **Flashback**

Sitting at Hotch's desk she was staring at the blank paper before her she had just finished her letter to Hotch and was trying to figure out what to say to jack.

"Dear Jack,

I know you are going to be sad to hear this but I am leaving for a while. It will probably be a long while. I know you hate hearing this but there are some adult things I have to take care of. I don't want you to think that because I am gone it means that I don't love you anymore. You are still one of the best little kids I know. I will always be watching out for you. I will just be doing it away from you for now. I will always be your aunt P. You didn't do anything to cause me not to be there. You are an amazing little man and I want you to be good for your daddy he is going to be sad too. He is going to need you to be brave and happy even though I am not there. I will be watching out for you and you will see me again. I am not sure when but until you do know I love you little man. Take care of your dad and aunt jess.

Love,

Aunt Penny"

 **Quantico (day after incident)**

Looking over at jack she asked "How would you like to go get henry and we can all spend some time at the Zoo?" Getting a yes out of him she quickly made her way to a house she thought she had seen for the last time.

Knocking on the door she was afraid to see who would be answering. Thankfully Sara, Henry's babysitter, was the one who answered the door. " Hey Penelope. How are you it has been a long time. I thought you were on a trip out f town?" Looking at her Penelope was careful how she answered "I am just back for a few days to visit I know the team is outta town but I was hoping I could take henry to the zoo with us." Sara quickly smiled "sure. JJ never minds when you get henry. Henry come get your shoes on you are going out!" Penelope smiled when she heard his feet running toward the door. As soon as he seen her he threw himself into her arms. "Penny! Mommy said you were gone and wont be back for a long long time." "Hey godbaby. Your mommy told you what she knew. I am back to visit sooner than I thought. But it will be a while before you see me after this. I still have to go away again."

"Thanks Sara. We will be back in a bit."

Putting both boys in the car she started talking "So I was thinking the zoo then some food. Maybe at Pizza world?" Both boys starting bouncing up and down "PIZZA WORLD PIZZA WORLD!" they chanted together.

After leaving the zoo Penelope decided to see if Jessica wanted to meet them at Pizza World. When it was confirmed time for the meetup they went to the restaurant.

" Hey Jessica." She said looking nervous

Jessica smiled and pulled her in for a hug "So glad you called." She pulled back and frowned at Penelope " We WILL be talking though."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Ok you guys I have a spot where I am stuck. First part is I have two versions I have wrote for this chapter. The second part I am having trouble with is who I eventually want to pair Penelope with I have two characters in mind. I have always had in mind that her feelings played a role in her leaving. My two picks should be obvious but I am not naming them as I want your honest unlimited opinions. Please review with your thoughts and ideas.**

 **Dallas Texas (two days after injury)**

The team was spending their time back and forth between hotch's room and reid's. They hadn't left the hospital in two days nor had they had any contact with their families other then to update them after it first happened.

JJ was on a coffee run when she got a call she was hoping for "Hey Will."

"Hey Cher how are you holding up?" "I am doing ok waiting for good news on Spence and Hotch. Henry really cant lose his godfather now too. He just lost Penelope." "Well speaking of Penelope…" "What about her?" She asked cutting Will off. "Henry can't quite talking her, the zoo, and jack. I think maybe she visited him." "Oh. I don't think so I think he is talking about the last big outing she took him and jack on. He has been wanting to go to the zoo and it was always Penelope who took both him and jack." "I don't know Cher he has been talking about it nonstop since yesterday. According to our son he spent a great day yesterday with Penelope and jack at the zoo and pizza world." "Have you talked to sara? What did she say he did yesterday?" "I called but I haven't been able to reach her. I don't know he sounds really serious about his day." " I don't think so we haven't heard from her in so long. I want it to be true but I really think he was just playing pretend. I have to run Will give henry a hug and kiss for me love you both." "Alright, I love you Cher."

 **Quantico (Day two after incident)**

Penelope looked around she had thought she was going to be spending a few days in a hotel not staying with Jessica and Jack. She hadn't left her room yet afraid of "the talk" she knew Jessica wanted to have with her. Sighing knowing that if she waited much longer Jessica would just drag her out of there room, she went downstairs toward the kitchen. Walking around the corner she was greeted with "I never took you for the scared type." She just sighed and took a seat at the table. " I am not scared just not ready to be yelled at." Jessica put a plate in front of her "Not going to yell. We are just going to have a nice chat." Penelope looked up at the way she said "nice" "What do you know or want to know?" "What I know is you left. What I want to know is why? And why didn't you go to anyone even Aaron? And don't give me the same run around that you gave your team." "How do you even know what I told the team?" "First off, I know what you told Aaron because I made him tell me what was going on when he switched my weekend with jack on such short notice. Second I know what you told the team in your first video. I don't know what you told everyone individually but I do know it was most likely a clipped version of the truth." "What makes you think I will tell you the truth?" " You could lie to me but something tells me you want someone to talk to who isn't your team but can help you catch up on them as well" Penelope let out a long sigh "Fine but this stays between us nobody on my team knows I am here and they cant know. Nor can they know everything I say is that clear."


	23. Chapter 23

**Quantico day three after incident**

Sitting at table staring at the plate that was in front of her she jumped when she heard "You don't have to talk to me you know. I just thought it would nice to have someone to let it all out with." Looking up she sighed and said "You're right. This stays between us no matter what is said can you do that? Not even Aaron can be told." Jessica stared at her a moment debating the question and thinking over the "even Aaron" part. She finally shook her head and agreed. "How about we start with what you have been up to since you left then we can come back to why." "Sounds good." "I know you went to see Emily start there." Penelope looked at here with a how'd you know look. "Aaron mentioned it." "Right. Well I was planning on spending a week with her but then she called the team so I left. I just wanted to say bye and even that was cut short." "What did you do after that?" "I spent a few hours seeing the sights then left to go to Italy." "You went to Italy?!" " I did I spent two weeks there. I have always wanted to go but never really had the chance. I saw all the sights and even seen the Rossi Vineyards." "Ok let me get this straight you left to get away from everyone and everything yet you went to Rossi's family place." Penelope looked down blushing. "Just because I was gone doesn't mean I haven't missed them or kept track." Jess looked at the sadness in her eyes and said "What did you do next?" Penelope got up to fill her tea cup again trying to buy time. She knew with the things she did Jess was going to guess just how alone she had been feeling. Sighing she answered "When I left Italy I flew back into the states to Vegas. I wanted to check on Spencer's mom. Plus he was due to have his appointment around that time so I wanted to make sure I was one of the first to see his results." "What results? Is he okay? What's wrong with him?" Looking down she was feeling guilty about mentioning them. Jess grabbed her hand and reminded her " I won't say anything it all stays here remember?" "He was tested for the genes for earlier Alzheimer's" Jess looked down "poor Reid. Is he ok?" "He isn't a carrier if that's what you're asking. I am very glad I knew he was so worried about it. So after I saw his results I spent a few days with his mom just visiting. I got to see much of baby spencer you wouldn't believe." "You really miss them don't you? If you aren't happy why are you staying away? I know Aaron and the team is miserable without you." "That will come when I tell you the full story of why I left" "Let's take a break we have to pick Jack up soon." "I am shocked he hasn't asked about his dad more don't they usually talk every night" "I think with you being back he has been too excited I will tell him today so he can talk to Aaron"


	24. Chapter 24

**Hospital day three after case**

They had finally been moved into the same room. The team was gathered around talking when JJ decided she needed to share what she had learned from Sara and Will. "Penelope is back in Quantico" With that statement the whole room was shot into chaos everyone talking at once. "She is?" "How do you know?" "Are you sure?" "She's Back?" JJ sighed and looked around. "She is. Apparently she took Henry and Jack to the zoo yesterday. Will didn't see her but Sara said she came to the house with Jack and picked him up." Hotch said "that means she had to have talked to Jessica" "I wonder why she went back? Is she home for good?" Reid asked Rossi was the one to answer "I don't think so" Hotch interrupted him saying "As for why she went back I am guessing it's due to us. I doubt our tech will be there when we get back as well a big apology waiting for the director." Derek was the one to make the first snappy comment "If she really cared wouldn't she have contacted one of us by now to find out how you are." Emily smacked him on the arm "What do you think she did? She contacted the highest one of us to see how bad it was." JJ jumped in saying "She went where she knew she could be of use and still get away. She went to the kids." Reid asked in a quiet voice "Do you think she will be there when we get back. Will we see her?" Rossi looked at him with a sad look. "I doubt we will see her but I think she will see us."

 **Quantico day three**

They had just got home from picking up Jack when Jess's phone started going off. Knowing exactly who it was she looked at Penelope who looked panicked. Knowing she couldn't just not answer it she grabbed it on the last ring. "Hello Aaron. How are you feeling? How are you?" "I am alive. How's Jack is he ok? I didn't scare him too much did I?" "Jacks good great actually. He doesn't actually know yet. Something came up so I haven't told him yet." "How is she Jess." "What are you talking about Aaron how is who?" She asked while looking at Penelope. "I she was there Jess she took him and Henry to the zoo. For her to have done that she had to have talked to you so how is she?" Sighing she looked over and answered "Broken and alone. That's all I can say Aaron." "Is Jack home yet?" "Hold on I will put him on." Covering the mouth piece she yelled "Jack dads on the phone." Her calls was answered by the quick steps of Jack running down the stairs. "Hi, Dad why aren't you home yet? Guess what dad I got a visitor" in the background Penelope and Jess were shaking their heads no but he said "Aunt P is here we have been hanging out and having fun. She looks so sad daddy. She isn't as bubbly anymore." Both sets of shoulders slumped when they couldn't stop him. "She's there now? Can you put her on tell her I won't take no for an answer." Replaying what his dad said she held out her hand for the phone. "That's not fair Hotch giving me no choice." A voice that was definitely wasn't Aaron's answer "And leaving us with no warning was fair?" Morgan snapped JJ rushed in with "You can see the kids and Jess but yet you ignore us really Penelope? How dare you." Before another word could be spoken they all heard the dial tone. Rossi Lost it after that "How dare you do that. She was at least on the phone going to talk and you all had to open your mouths. Where is the team I have seen crying all about how much they missed her and what did we do wrong because that sure wasn't them.

Back in the kitchen Penelope dropped the phone and ran straight to her room she started to pack as quickly as she could.


	25. Chapter 25

Penelope was in the middle of throwing her cloths in her bag when Jess walked into the room. "Come on P don't let them run you off again. They're not even here yet and you're gonna run again?" She dropped what she was holding and looked up "It wasn't just them that ran me off. I knew that would be mad at me but I didn't think they would hate me." Jack came in the room "I don't hate you aunt P I love you please don't leave again." He said as he hugged her.

 **Hospital Day Three**

Rossi was looking at the team with a glare. "I am done hearing about how much you miss Penelope. I am done with the woe is me routine. I thought you would be happy she cared enough about us all to return and see to your families." Looking at Hotch and Reid he just shook his head. "The first thing she did when she learns about our team is chew out the director and you act like she stopped caring. I at least two of you have known were she was at one point or another throughout this time. Yet neither of you said anything. Doesn't that tell you something? Doesn't what she did because of you both tell you something. Because I know what she did tells me she misses us." Hotch and Emily were both looking around quizzically Emily finally asked "What'd she do?" Reid looked down at his bedsheet while Derek avoided looking at anyone. "Fine" Rossi stated "I guess I will start. Right after she left Emily in London she went to Italy and she visited my family and the vineyards." The firt part of his statement shocked everyone but Hotch. Reid finally said "So that's why you came back when she left. She went to see you" Emily looked down and looked ashamed. JJ seen the look and asked "What did you do?" Emily looked up and sighed " I blamed her for leaving without a goodbye." Morgan finally looked up and said "Didn't you do the exact same thing." Without giving her a chance to answer Hotch said "That's why she tried to tell me." "You knew where she went? Why didn't you stop her?" JJ looked defeated at the question "You saw her before she left didn't you? You were the first to get your video. You are the quickest on our profiles you figured it out. Didn't you?" Hotch looked at the team and sighed he didn't bother to answer. Morgan once again asked "What else have you figured out? Why did she really leave?" "I haven't fully figured it out I just have ideas and no proof."

 **Day Four Quantico**

Jess had decided she was going to keep Jack home from school since Pen was supposed to be leaving that night. It was 10 o'clock by the time she got up. She greeted Jess and Jack with "I guess there really is no point in trying to hide I am here anymore so what do you say we see if we can get Henry and spend one more fun day together?" Both of them quickly agreed both wanting to spend more time with her before she left again. Knocking on the door she was nervous she knew this was Will's day off to be with Henry. If JJ hated her she could only imagine Will since she hurt both henry and JJ. She was into her thoughts and was shocked when she was pulled into a tight hug. When she was released she was looking at a smiling Will. "Penelope, so glad you are back. So glad you are ok." Looking at him like he was crazy she asked "You don't hate me too?" She was almost crying when he said "Why would I hate you?" letting her in they talked for a bit about her coming back, the call with the team, and what was said. After he agreed to a day out with them they took the kids to the local game center and let them loose. Will filled her in on what happened right after she left with the team at Rossi's. Jack was asleep in the back of the car on the way back. After putting him to bed Jess caught Penelope getting ready to walk out the door. "We haven't finished our talk yet. You're not leaving until we do."


	26. Chapter 26

**Hospital day Three**

Rossi finished his story about how he knew what Pen had did in Italy and looked at Derek expectantly. He finally broke under the look "Fine. She went to Chicago. She spent a week with my sister. Sarah told me she spent a week up there helping her out when josh had his surgery. She even spent time with my mom. Helped her get all the stuff ready before me and savanna visited the last trip." Everyone in the room looked at him shocked. Out of all their relationships theirs was the most strained. It had been months before she left so for her to do that for him really said something. Reid realizing he was next said "She visited my mom. She spent four days just visiting with her. She went when she knew I would want to be there most." "I thought you went to visit your mom? If you weren't there where were you?" JJ asked " I took a few days to wait out my test result so I wouldn't mess up a case." "What were you tested for pretty boy?" "Early Alzheimer's and schizophrenia. Penelope knew I wouldn't be able to go that time because she set up the appointment before she left. I got the notice when she sent me the video." Everyone was quiet for a while each lost in their own thoughts. Emily finally broke the quiet "She really seems to miss everyone. I mean we know she cares so why did she leave like she did? There has to more to it than what she said."

 **Day four Quantico**

Penelope sighed and walked away from her bag at the door. "Alright lets get this done. You're just let hotch when he wants something so best not avoid it." Jess just smiled and said "I will take that as a compliment." "Aaron would too" Penelope laughedJess looked at her and said "how about we jump to the why you left now and not the what you've done since part." Looking down she answered "you can't look at me different. I mean it no pity looks or oh pen's got it?" "Got it" "It's a long story so I would settle in. It all started about four months ago. It started at the last big get together we had. The one at Rossi's. I was sitting back watching everybody talk and laugh and realized it had already been two hours. Everyone had said hi but I was left sitting there by myself for two hours. Let me just tell you its not fun realizing everyone is having fun and talking to each other but you. It especially sucks when two of the people used to be my best friends. The other two are two of the people I have the highest respect for who have always been there for me. Looking around I could see how everyone was pulling back from each other then but especially me. We used to be a family but for some reason they were all pulling away. After that I kept watching everyone at work. I can see how it happened. I mean everyone has a family and things they needed to do but after that party I really noticed how much we were separating. It just kept getting worse. I understand most of it I do. I just missed the way we were before. Rossi has his daughter now and I am so happy he found her and his grandson. He deserves happiness. I just miss the "father" figure he was to all of us. He really dropped back in his fatherly ways I guess having a real daughter made the appeal to the work kids smaller."

Jess looked at how sad she looked "What happened with the others?" "I should really be happy for all of them. I really should. I mean their my friends and they were happy. I was just so alone and missed my family I have had these last few years." "What happened Pen?" "Derek has been seeing savanna for the last two years you met her at the party. The last year he and I haven't really talked we haven't hung out or anything at first it was due to the cases or so I thought but then it continued. I used to be the light in his life. I am so glad he found savanna don't get me wrong I just miss my hero. He stopped telling me things about his family he stopped asking me to hang out. He cut off all contact except for work questions. He even stopped our flirting. One minute I had my best friend the next I was kicked out of his life like a stranger."

"JJ had been trying for another baby with Will. She went through a miscarriage about six months ago and since then she has been shut off she really only talked to will and reid outside of work. She used to tell me everything but I wouldn't even have known that had it not been for will thinking I already knew and asking me. We still went out every once in a while but she stopped talking to me. We would either talk about will and henry or we were talking work. We lost our girl time and girl talk." "Reid had been about the same. A little more withdrawn due to his worry about his genes and his mom but we still hung out. He is one of only two who didn't really change. Even I changed. That's their part of why I left." Jess looked at her. She had left a big part of their team out "And Aaron's part of this?" Penelope blushed and looked away "That would be more about my changes then his


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Hello lovely readers. I know it has been a really long time. I just found my flash drive with this story on it and figured I would give it a go to finish it hope yall still like it sorry it has been so long**

 **Ash**

 **Day Four at the Hospital**

The team was sitting in the room waiting for Reid to be brought back from some tests. If everything came back ok he and Hotch would be able to leave in the morning. The team were shocked they were given permission to stay with them usually they were rushed home. From his talk with the director Rossi was guessing it was all thanks to Penelope. If it was a normal case they would have been rushed at the end of this one to be home and find more work. He couldn't stop thinking about all Penelope had done since she had been gone. Everywhere he knows she went had something to do with the team she never truly stepped away. Knowing her moves only made him more thoughtful on her motives of leaving.

JJ was sitting in the chair next to Hotch's bed. She couldn't stop thinking about all the things that had happened over the last few months. She knew she was a part of why Penelope had pulled away. She felt bad because looking back she could see just how much she had pulled away first. She realized it had been at least six months since her and Pen had really had any girl time together and it was all on her. She had a lot of questions she wanted answered and the only person who could answer them was probably long gone thanks to that call.

 **Quantico Day four**

Jess was staring at Penelope. Her mouth was slightly open. There was an all telling blush on Penelope's cheek and she refused to meet her eye. "Penelope Garcia! Are you saying what I think you are?" When Penelope still refused to answer and her blush deepened Jess got over excited "OH MY GOODNESS! How long have you liked him? How did you even start liking him? Does he know? Wait never mind to the last one of course he doesn't. You have to talk now." Knowing she wasn't getting off with explaining it now she sighed and looked at Jess. "To answer your first question I have to first say that when I first noticed my attraction I knew he was off limits. It was more of my appreciation of the fact that he was good looking and had that quiet yet powerful thing going on. It was totally innocent. In saying that I have been held my appreciation for him since about six months after I met him. I noticed my feelings changing into what they are now about a 8 months ago. As Jessica sat there staring at her Penelope couldn't help but fidget. Jessica was waiting but having Penelope sitting there quietly was killing her " Come on now what changed you can't leave me hanging after saying that." Penelope looked down at her hands once more. "I honestly don't know what caused the big change" she said "I mean I have always appreciated his looks but these last few months it has been more. I have always done well with him being off limits. First with him being my boss, married, then him grieving. Then to be honest I put him as off limits for a while due to you." Jess looked at her confused "Why because of me?" She asked. Penelope looked at her trying not to blush. " I thought maybe you might be into him and you guys would get together." Jess just stared at her with a look filled with shock and mild disgust. "Absolutely no way that was ever going to happen. I love Aaron I do but that is gross on many levels. First he was Haley's husband. During their marriage he became the brother I never had. Second he is so not my type. He is way to buttoned up. I need someone open and carefree and that is definitely not Aaron.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: I figured it has been such a long time that if anyone was still interested or still reading I would give yall two chapters let me know what you think

Penelope looked at Jess with a sheepish smile "I have come to realize that. You guys act way too much like siblings for that to change. I kept trying to put him back in the off limits pile but as more time went on it became harder and harder. I know he would never look at me in that way so it made these last few months and even worse those last few weeks too hard." Jess looked at her once again confused "Why the last few weeks?" "I have always been the team bright light as I have said but over the last months it changed it seemed I was losing my shine. The only person I seemed to still be a light to was Aaron. Over the last weeks before I left it changed instead of me being his light he became mine. While I was on lock down he always checked on me he was the first person I would see in the morning and always the last one at night. He would often bring me coffee in the mornings knowing I hate the office stuff first thing in the morning. At night he would always check on me before he left for home. He made me realize just how much my feelings had changed. I couldn't keep watching him and not saying anything. Pretty soon he was going to notice." Jess looked at her a with a face that sad she understood. She said "That explains you're feelings about the team but I know there is more to you leaving then just the changed relationships with the team."

Penelope looked at her trying to decide if she should really tell her. "What do you know about why I was on lockdown?" "Not much, all Aaron would tell me is that someone was after you and it was not safe for you out yet." "That much is true and I can't tell you much more in specifics but I will tell you that I was supposed to be on complete tech lockdown other than for cases as well as physical lockdown. I couldn't just give up my computer though. I keep digging trying to find more information to help catch the guys after me. Two days before I left I got an email I couldn't trace. In the email it told me how they were going to get me how they had been watching me they went into detail about thing the team had done over the last serval months letting me know that they saw the split with the team. They told me that since they couldn't get to me they were going to get to the team. They told me they were going to make sure each member suffered and that when there were done there were going to finish with me and then I would truly disappear and that the team would never forget who I was out what I made them suffer." Looking at Penelope Jessica saw that she had tears running down her checks. Getting up she went and hugged her tight. "we can take a break if you want it is getting really late. We can finish this tomorrow but Penelope, we will finish this conversation." Penelope just looked at her and nodded her head. She knew it was time to let it all out and she trusted Jessica enough to let it go. She headed up stairs to get some sleep

Jessica watched her walk all the way up the stairs once she disappeared she waited a few minutes and then reached for her phone.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Another small chapter and the last one for this week. I am looking at updating once a week. I am going to try my hardest to stick to that schedule as I am working on this and family lost family found. I will be working on making the chapters bigger.

The ringing of a phone woke him up. "Hello?" "Give Aaron the phone." Rossi looked down at the phone debating what to do hotch was sleeping but recognizing the tone Jessica was using knew it was important. "Let me wake him up." He set the phone to the side and gently put his hand on his shoulder shaking him slightly so as not to hurt him "Aaron, Aaron wake up. Jessica is on the phone for you." Blinking slowly he tried to sit up too fast when David's words sunk in. "Easy" Dave said as he handed him the phone. "What's wrong Jess?! " I know you all miss and love Penelope so I am telling you this now you and your team to truly think whether or not you want her back in your lives and if you do you guys need to show it. We have been talking and I won't tell you what was said but you need to get home as soon as you can and help fix this." Jess said with a tremble in her voice. "How bad is it?" "Bad, she isn't the same bright shining bubbly woman we both know. She tries to hide it in front of jack but she is hurting Aaron. I don't know how long I can keep her here." "Don't let her leave. Please Jess. We will be home as soon as we can. Keep her there as long as possible." "I will but Aaron you need to hurry. I get the feeling she is ready to run." Jess hung up the phone after she said that.

He sat looking at his phone for a minute after Jess hung up. After a few minutes he started trying to get up removing wires as he went. Rossi reached out and grabbed his hands "Woah what are you doing?" he asked quickly Hotch looked over at him frowning "We need to get home." Dave looked at him hard sighing when he saw the look of determination on his face. "You're not getting out of here tonight." He said as he guided him back into the bed and pushed the call button. Hotch just glared at him. Dave laughed "We aren't getting anywhere to night first thing tomorrow you can use that on the doctor to see if you can get your way out of here. Then only if we get you out of here will we head home." Hotch continued to glare as a nurse came in and seeing what he did started hooking him back up. "Either way Dave, I am headed home tomorrow. Jess wouldn't have said what she did if she didn't believe it."


	30. Chapter 30

Quantico Day Five

Penelope was awake earlier than anyone else. She had planned to be up and out of the house before Jack and Jess woke. She quickly found however that her plans weren't meant to be. Search as she might she couldn't find any of her documents her ID, credit cards and passport were all missing. She didn't have to be a profiler to know that someone took them so that she couldn't leave. Realizing she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon she settled for making some breakfast.

Hospital Day Five

He looked around the room everyone was still sleeping. The team had refused to leave the room where he and Reid were being held. Looking at everyone he was drawn more into thought about the only person who was missing. On any other given case she would have been here with everyone else. However, this time was different. She was still showing her love and care through her actions but this time she was doing it away from the team. He looked at the clock. Sighing he realized it was only five am. His doctor wouldn't be in until at least eight.

Quantico

Penelope was just plating the food when she heard footsteps running down the stairs. "Aunt P, Aunt P!" Jack cried as he slid to a stop in front of the counter. His face had tears running down it. She crouched down wiping the tears away as she did "What's wrong mini man?" Jack threw himself into her arms "I thought you left again. You said you are going to and you weren't upstairs." Looking up she seen Jess standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "Thank you." She mouthed as she held jack tight. At first she was mad her stuff was missing and she couldn't leave but now seeing how Jack was acting she was glad she didn't leave like she did last time.

Hospital

The doctor was finally in the room. He first checked Reid out. "Looking good, The wound is closing up well there have been no complications no major concerns. You are ready to be released." He said signing some papers as he talked. With that he turned to Hotch. "I need to look at you wounds and give you a proper exam." Looking around at everyone else he said "Can you all step out please?" not really meaning it as an option. Everyone started to file out when Hotch called out "Dave stay" The doctor looked at him but shrugged his shoulders. Laying the bed back he looked at hotch and asked "What did I hear about you pulling off your wires." Looking at the doctor straight in the eye he answered "I was planning on leaving just like I am to do today whether you clear me or not." The stare he received in return would have shock others but he just put on his best glare and stared back. Finally the doctor sighed and relented. "I am not you are up for leaving. Let alone traveling. But something tells me no matter what I say you will walk out of here today." Hotch just gave a firm nod Signing the doctor answered. "I will get your papers ready. I will make a list of what needs done. Whatever you are leaving for must be important for you to risk further injury." "She is." He said firmly

Clear up to him saying that Reid had been content to just lay on his bed. As soon as he heard that answer his gazed jumped to Rossi's. His face was all the answer he needed. Hotch knew something about Penelope. As the doctor left he asked "What do you know that we don't?"


End file.
